It’s Not Over Until the Short Girl Screams

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Averi Cervantez

Contemplating life as you sing your ABC’S and crack the window

By Averi Cervantez, Writer

“Averi, its okay, you don’t have to sing” or “no sweetie, we’ll find something else for you to do besides singing” or other variations of somebody explaining to me that I CAN NOT and therefore SHOULD NOT sing, is a message I receive more often than I would like to say.

Not only am I one of the worst singers in varsity theatre, but I am also one of the loudest. ‘How are those two factors relevant’ you may ask, well imagine doing a sing along to a Disney song on a bus (yes, theatre is cliché enough to sing to a Disney song, but they’re good enough actors to make you believe a young and beautiful princess wants to fall in love with you) and trying to feel included by singing the chorus. Not only do several heads sharply turn in your direction, but you also help the song quickly fade away and everyone tries to pretend like I never even sang for the sake of your pride. That is just one embarrassing experience that  I had the opportunity to go through. Don’t even get me started on people yelling at me for harmonizing (I don’t even know what that is).

Don’t get me wrong, I am aware of my horrid singing skills. I have even tried to take voice lessons, which was a greater stab at my confidence. When I first entered the small music room, the teacher asked me to sing something for her to “see what we’re working with.” As soon as I opened my mouth, I knew voice lessons were not for me. The teacher abruptly interrupted me a few moments later with a forced smile on her face and said that should be enough. I guess I was blushing a little harder than before because she then went on to recite a speech explaining how I did fine and I shouldn’t be embarrassed because she’s “had worse”.

I’ve learned to give up on my dream of becoming the next Barbra Streisand, and to accept that I will never be onstage for my solo. Honestly, I don’t wish to be a great singer, it seems like too much pressure. Always having to perform or sing for others is a bit intimidating. None of us can truthfully say that when we found out about our friend’s magical vocals, our first thought wasn’t “dude you can sing? Sing something for me!”

Being a bad singer is not all too dreadful, I’ve learned numerous life lessons. For example: if you ever accidentally sing obnoxiously, you can either a.) pretend it never happened OR b.) just bask in the embarrassment and make fun of yourself (if they’re going to laugh at you, might as well have them laugh with you). These skills have helped me through embarrassing moments throughout my life (I am not the most graceful being) and made me a more humble person.

And hey, I still have my fun singing in my room with the doors locked and blinds shut in an empty house with an occasional howl from the neighbor’s dog.