The Boy Who Cries of Boredom

What would you do if you cried every time you were bored?

By Alexis Grimaldo, Design Editor

I’m sitting in class minding my own business, thinking about stories I could be writing instead of sitting here staring at the clock when I look over at the boy next to me to see his shirt pulled up to his eyes. I did a double take, not being able to comprehend what I was seeing.

“Is he about to sneeze?” I wondered.

I waited for another minute, half paying attention to what the other girls at my group were saying, and half watching the boy to see if he’d emerge from his shirt finally. When he still didn’t move, I finally caved to my curiosity, not being able to wait any longer.

“Are you ok?” I asked, more bluntly than I’d planned in my head.

He looked up surprised, his cheeks turning slightly red. If he was embarrassed, he didn’t let on because he smiled and shrugged before nonchalantly explaining that he cries when he’s bored. The other two girls at my group stopped talking immediately and their heads whipped in our direction. They gaped at him, and I laughed in disbelief.

“Are you serious?” I asked feeling like he was just saying this to mess with us and to coolly recover from being spotted having a turtle moment.

“Yeah I cry all the time in World Geography. I’ll just be staring at my paper, zoned out from boredom, and suddenly I feel a tear.” He shrugged again.

… he smiled and shrugged before nonchalantly explaining that he cries when he’s bored.

My mind completely spun when I heard this. Let’s just back up and really soak this in. A boy literally cries when he’s bored. Can you imagine sitting there in class listening to your slow, monotone teacher talking and suddenly you just bust out crying?

What if you were at your new job and you were called in for a meeting. You’re all excited because, hey, it’s your first meeting and you’re really adulting now. You should get a medal for getting this far, right? So, you’re sitting there listening, fully present until thirty minutes have gone by and the speaker isn’t anywhere near done. Another thirty minutes… nothing. Another hour and you start to wonder if your new boss is a dementor sucking the life out of you slowly and painfully as she drags you deeper into the meeting. You have no idea what she’s even talking about anymore.

You hear her say, “go over six-month plan” and you lose it. Not just one tear, but a whole stream of tears comes bursting from the dam inside you and you’re just sobbing. She turns to you shocked asks what’s wrong, and you shake your head knowing that you should not open your mouth. You should NOT tell your boss that you’re crying, sobbing, out of boredom. She asks you again, and you start to calculate whether you really need this job and if you’d be able to find another one before you’re homeless always crying out of boredom.

You make up your mind and look her square in the eye and say, “I was crying out of boredom.”

You swear you saw her head explode and your life flash before your eyes.

I mean, can you really imagine having to explain to someone, a teacher, boss, or even a good friend that’s taken over the conversation, that you’re sobbing because they are so boring that you couldn’t contain your discomfort anymore?

I feel bad for the boy who cries, but I can’t help but laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it all. If the boy was serious, if he really has a condition where he cries when bored, then he’s going to have a long, hard life.