Valentines Shmalentines


It’s that time of year again, unfortunately. For us single (and gorgeous) people, Valentine’s Day is just horrid. Lucky for you, there are a few ways of approaching and surviving this yearly anathema.

1. Be happy! Yay for the couples who crowd our hallways with obnoxious (and most likely temporary) displays of their “love” for each other. Yay for the boyfriends who buy “their women” the most expensive and ostentatious items to show off how well they treat girls (from stuffed animals meaning “I’m such a sweetheart” to jewelry meaning “Marry me. I shall father our future children like no other”). Remember to embrace the generous spirit and give your friends gifts! Have a “girl’s night out”! Frolic in unsatisfying friendships! Yipee!

2. Soul search. Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to spot out fellow singletons. The more upset they are, the better chance you have! Who am I kidding, the only people you’ll find alone anywhere on Valentine’s are alone for a reason. Because they’re probably thinking the same thing about you, you’d probably have to resort to being your own valentine. To fill the empty void, buy yourself something special. It’s not like anyone else would anyways. 🙁

3. Face the inevitable. You are single. Why not get used to it? Everyone’s just intimidated by our radiating good looks and charming personalities. Heh…heh. I know you; planning on eating your feelings and crying into a bucket of ice cream to Adele’s Someone Like You tonight? Like you don’t already have that planned *wink*. If you don’t want to be alone this Valentine’s, I heard animal shelters are filled with animals as desperate as you for company. Yay!

4. Ignore V-day. It’s just any normal day. Walk fast in the hallways to avoid any glimpse of couples and shades of pink. “Valentine’s Day? That’s today? Pssh, no. That wasn’t me drooling/wailing over that couple’s love for each other. And that wasn’t me crying in the bathroom…”

Happy Valentine’s you majestic child.